' `ashley

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 00:48:40 GMT

if only you knew what I was thinking and felt how I feel...I did say if only..

it's already taking affect..this is your answer.

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:36:24 GMT

yay! I got my computer back. I had fuckin 148 viruses! fuckin people trying to send me shit..they have no lives. anyway..I saw Liser's new puppy today [a pit] it's soo fuckin cute. I saw jaime. he's all "what's up Ashley" as he was leaving. He kept staring at me and I wanted to yell "Yeah you had this and you know you want it back but I've found the love of my life now!" I left at 5:15 and I got home and set my computer up. I had to re-install everything because I had to delete all my shit. I got to keep my music though. I think some songs are missing =/ anyway..I'm not done yet so goodnight.

Fri, 20 May 2005 15:28:44 GMT

nerdy pic of me and my babe =o]

this face after the wedding

looking like a peeeuuummmppp

lmao...woofin!!

me after I changed..yuck! lmao

a lot has happened

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 00:38:19 GMT

but at the same time, nothing has happened lol. I have a BOYFRIEND now and I live in san fran with vicki and alexia =oD and I'm HELLA happy! I'm going to be a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding and I just got my dress today and I'm in love with it. I got it fitted and all that good stuff. they're taking out the zipper in the back and replacing it with a corset with a black ribbon. it's going to look GREATTT!! better than tony the tiger! lmao. life's better now =o] I've been in like the GREATEST mood ever since I moved. I love it..new pictures...

my dress

MY BABE!!

ME! lol

ayo!

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 22:16:11 GMT

I had to write in here cause I was laughing at myself...it's like 2:12 pm and for some reason..I started craving beer which I hardly even like it, but for some reason, I had to go into my frigde and pop that shit open lol. It's soo good too! LMAO! tell me I'm a nerd...just tell me. lol...my life..fuck...hard times kinda..but everybody has those times, ya know what I mean? I hope everybody or anybody who still reads this shit is doing alright. I hope everybody has been safe and all that good stuff. Until next time, I'm out folks! =o]

just some random pictures:

they're all blurry and yucky because they're off my phone..but yeah.

last night was cool

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 20:58:44 GMT

I went to Ernie's party in e.p.a. there was like 50-60 people there and i knew most of them. I brought some parrot bay and made some good ass drinks for people but the bottle was gone in like 5 minutes lmao. there was some other stuff too and I spilled most of it on me when i was dancing, but it was alright because i got another cup! lmao! I was drunk off my ass and some fools drive up talking shit to all the girls. First they started saying shit to Michelle and mandy and then i came along to see what all the commotion was and then they're all what's your name and i was all Ashley and then the driver was all yeah what's your name bitch. I was all excuse me what bitch and the guy in the passenger seat was all you ain't nothing but a hoe because i was talking shit to them and i was all you don't even know me bitch and I ain't a fucking hoe, don't be trying to talk down to me. I was about to run up to the guy because everyone made me back up and shit and I was pulling my ass away from everyOne because they tried bringing me in the house and i was like in the fucking air tring to jump out of the little circle everyone was keeping me in and Ernie caught me.

Then supposedly the guy had a pistol so ernie got his and they took me in his room in the back and then I was all 'Ok I'm good' and then I ran out the room into the front of the hOuse and I was all where are those mother fuckers and Ernie's brother..i think edwin?! Was all 'they're gone' and i was all 'watch when they come back someones going to get popped in their motherfuckin mouth. but anyway...the night was cool after that. I drank some more and took like 2 hits off a blunt. It was just dandy. Then Ernie had to take me home around 12:30 because vicki's grandma wanted me to come home because I usually stay with her on weekends. I didn't wanna leave at like 10:30 because Yesenia had to be home and she was my ride so ernie said he would take me home. So yeah ..I came home and ate and passed out in vicki's bed. So now I'm getting ready to go to a show and after that, and Vicki and Liser I think are gonna do meth and me and alexia are just going to have a silly time lmaO. That's about it. Tomorrows my mommy's birthday! I'm gonna get her a balloon, a rose, and a gift certificate. Muah ha! Okie..that's all. Adios for now.

Wow

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 21:10:17 GMT

I knew my happiness wouldnt last for long. Lauren [a girl i know] calls me up. She asks me if i have a minute to talk and i said ya..soo she goes okay hold on..someone wants to talk to you. soo as a wait for somepne i dont know to come on the phone, i hear..."hey..this is jenny..jaimes ex." soo i was all hey wassup..soo she goes are you and jaime going out and i was all ya..and shes all for how long and i go..for like 2 or 3 weeks..why?! and shes all well..hes been cheating on you..cheating on you with me and we've had sex..and i was all "Okay.." for some reason..what she had just said did not bother me at all knowing that it's happened to me soo many times that i'm used to it. soo anyways..on with the conversation..she's all i wanted to hear for myself if you guys were really together and i was all ya, we are. and she's all well he's been telling me that he wanted me and only me and i was all well he's told me the same fuckin thing. and she's all well sweety..it's all i lie. then i was all you know what..deep down, i knew something had to be a lie. and then she was just telling me all this stuff and then she goes what are you doing tomorrow and i was all nothing and she's all well i get off of work at 6 soo if you want i could meet up with you and we'll go see him and trip him out. let him know we know wassup. so i was all i'm usually out by 5 and she's all well what if i take you hOme and i was all okay that's a possibility. so i'm just plOtting my shit..thinking about what i'm gonna say. then lauren gets on the phone and she goes are you okay and i was all ya i'm fuckin fine. she's all no cutting or anything and i was no i'm through with that shit..i'm not even gonna fuckin cry. i feel like i'ma laugh right now and she's all good. i kinda scared myself cause i sounded so calm, but i was really fuckin heated. I was so mad that i SWEAR my fuckin face was as red as my shirt. anyways..if he calls me, i'ma let it be known that i'm pissed and some how show him i know whats up. see..i'm not gonna say anything about his ex calling me..cause tomorrow, he's in for something he's never got. i'm gonna come up to him with his ex and bitch him out and then i'm gonna pop his ass right in the fuckin nose and hock a fat loogie and spit it in his face. it shall be fun! if he called me right now..i don't know what would happen. i don't know what my reactiOn to him would be. i swear..i was actually going to let myself fall for him..but i told myself to be careful and i was careful. I didn't get tOo attatched and i'm hella proud of myself because that happens to me so easily and i get hurt so bad. this time..i just wanna laugh. not a single fuckin tear is gonna come out of my eyes. The part that hurts though is that its' happened again..and even though someone can hurt me the worst..i'll still have feelings for them somewhere in my heart. this boy was getting to me. the things he said..fuck..if only that shit were true..i think i would be spending my life with him. i wanted to too. =/ i always pick the wrong guys..it's just my fuckin luck. it all happens for a reasOn though..and that reason..i don't think i'll ever know...

so i have no valentines for v-day =/ never have..probably never will. guys are caca lOl. anyways..thas all for right nOw. adios <3

Hmm..this weekend was fun I guess.

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 01:52:01 GMT

I dont really remember. Friday I stayed home to look for my car which was a fuckin waste of my time. I could have been doing better things =) then I went to go look for a new phone cause mine like fuckin melted or something. I cant see the screen and then I went to Vicki's, we smoked like the whole fucking day lmao. I dont remember what happened but I guess I passed out and woke not knowing where I was or who was with me. So ya..then me, alexia, and vicklynn went to go see Tyler play hockey. Ooh! those little fuckers on the other team were makin me mad. #36 and #63..I'm gonna find them and beat their asses lmao. Then there were these two little kids and they looked soo cute cause they were walking around holding hands and kissing and then I was all hey is that your girlfriend and the little boy was all no...thats my sister and I was all what?! lmao..nasty shit. but yeah I'm gonna wait for my nerdo to call me =)

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 02:44:56 GMT

I hate the world right now. I only get half of my comments..i dont know why..but I'm mad. grr..I'ma shoot someone REAL soon. I'm in the worst mood..ask me why!..no..dont cause i dont fuckin know. Okie, thats enough..nite.

I'm 18!!

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 17:56:39 GMT

lol..my birthDAY was cool..hopefully this weekend will be better or the next since i can't really do much. thursday we had dinner at eriks cause his mommy wanted to cook for us =o] and today vicki's birthday and sunday Im having a family party at my house. so next week is for me cause i wanna go out! lol..hope everybody's cool, i would say i'll try and update more and post comments but that would be a lie =X school's all bad =o/ boys..blah..went to disneyworld and that was alright..it was just me and my mom so i couldn't get all hyphy or nothing lol. for my birthday..which was the 7th..i went to the mall with alexia bought a cute lil outfit =o] then we were driving back to redwood and saw this guy in a big ass truck and we tried to holla at him LMAO! good times. we were waiting for marleena but her ass was laggin it. went to eriks after and mike smoked me out and i went home cause i had reservations for benihana's which was BOMB AS FUCK! i got some cool shit and hella balloons and all the works..you know! but yeah...i dont know when the next time ill be updating but until then..I STILL LOVE YOU ALL!!! =o]

long week..

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 21:26:34 GMT

I dont even know wut happened. I just wanted to update cause I havent written in hella long. But anyways..fuck. I'm getting like a fuckin stroke right now. I cant think straight. I still have shit in me and I think the cold is making it worse. I would write about wut happened to me..the things I could remember..but I think if I did..Id get in trouble cause I dont know who reads this shit. soo...just know that I'm okay! 0r at least for now I am. hMm..I got a new layout! alright then..adios!

today was so boring!

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 20:48:38 GMT

=x i got ready and did nothing. I hate when i do that! grr. nobody is online right now cause they're all caca heads..soo im gonna go. muah!

yay!

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 21:01:59 GMT

I got my new carpet in =D me and my mom went shopping for stuff to match my room and i got a new comforter [sp?], drapes, lights, pillows and a blankey =) whee. all i need is new furniture and i think ima get that next weekend after the wedding I have to go to. I gotta go look for something i like. My back hurts though. I moved everything in and out of my room alone. I hooked up all the lights and i put up the drapes and the bar thinger..i was soo proud lol. anywho..Im tired ::yawns:: okie dokie. nap time <3

bad bad day =/

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 21:01:16 GMT

The nail lady fucked up my nails and i got mad soo i broke one =x..but then i fixed it lol. then i got a pedicure and i dont like how the color came out. i'm picky =x then i went to stanford cause my mom was getting a massage and everything soo i waited for like 2 hours. then shes all go shopping so i went and i got lost cause i dont really go to stanford and then i had like five panic attacks. i dont know why but i just kinda fell on the floor and i couldnt breathe. =/ i gota new jacket im good but i still need hella more shit but i guess im not gonna be getting it. 0h well..it wont be my fault when i show up to dinner wearing jeans or something. then my mom yelled at me again about my nose ring and shes all "you better take it out since you didnt have my approval"..but im not gonna do it! muah ha.

then some dumbass fool imed me talking shyt sayin hes gonna get his preppy ass friends to "kick my ass." ROTF..ya..the preps are gonna get me good! let him talk more shit..i dont give a fuck. ill get his ass jumped! hes retarded. well i gotta finish doing some stuff. adios.

just something i scribbled on my notepad

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 04:13:55 GMT

lost in the blacks of my eyes and still nobody knows why. continuing to live, yet it's still a wonder to me. the concience that i have has stopped workin and nobody still knows why as to why im still alive. hiding in the shadows of my own shadow- got my wonders wandering and still im ponderin..can i still survive? or are you yet to see my insides. -west_coast

UPDATE

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 04:12:51 GMT

wow...its been a straight while since i last updated this thing. to start off...freshman college year is SHIT already. im failing most of my classes because of those days i missed when i was at John's funeral. Im behind in all my classes and im completely lost. math is killin me. im too stupid for that class. other than school, everythings been alright. im workinh every other day during the week and its an easy job. i get my first pay check on the 30th and im dying to see how much i made. im trying to save up for my system for my carcar because i already blew out my speakers =x lol. my brother moved out so all of a sudden were buying hella shit for the house. i like it but i dont..every day theres something new and i was all..wheres all this money coming from?! i ask for some shoes and everyone shits their pants...but we can get a new big screen tv with surround sound, a new couch, a new bed, a new rug, a new entertainment thinger for my moms room and hella more shit and just act like everythings fucking holly jolly..no. i was just seeing what my dad would say, so i asked, since were buying all this shit for the house, can i get a system for my car? and hes all WHAT?! cant you be thankful for the speakers you already have and i was all..i was...until they blew out lol. but he was like shitting a fuckin mountain over that question. whatever though. ive been babysitting some kids so thas extra money to save. hmm..what else. everythings been the same...i cut back on smokin A LOT. you all would be proud lol. i dont really know what else to say except for im fine..hope everyone else is too. ill try and comment on your journals when i have time...you know how shit gets sometimes. im sorry =x i miss you all!! xOxO ashley

Here's to John

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 03:38:14 GMT

you will be missed so much

http://www.livejournal.com/users/pixie_27/55010.html

Ayoo

Mon, 23 Aug 2004 04:59:25 GMT

im going to Tahoe in a couple hours with my mom and pop..yay..lol. we go every fucking year and its fun if you meet people and kick it and shyt but most of the time its just boring. Im not old enough to gamble soo theres no point in going to the casinos..i can go jet-skiing but the waters FREEZING..blah. ill update either when i get back or after i start school. love you all caca heads! be good and safe <3

Hey yo!!

Wed, 18 Aug 2004 04:07:57 GMT

Reno was alriqht..me and vicki got sick =x i spent all my money the first day lmao! but i qot hella tickets pushing all my quarters through the slots muah hahaha!!! I was looking at getting a PS2 for 12,000..but i only got like 5,000 soo me and vicki both got electric scooterz mannn!!! rotf! were qonna whip that shit out when were just kicking it and be like..'beep beep..comin through' haha! anyways..there were many laughs while we were there lol. good times!

**OH MY FUCKIN BAJEEZUS! how HORRIBLE was that fucking qame on saturday? it was SOO depressing..i knew the raiders were gonna win, dont get it twisted, im all about the niners..but they've been bootsy for a minute now..but yeah...i was bitter that night >=O

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 19:42:54 GMT

I got my wisdom teeth pulled out yesterday and it wasnt that bad. the only thing i remember is walking into the office and sitting down and then the doctor came in and told me to keep squeezing my hand and thats it lol. i woke up like what seemed 2 minutes later but it was really an hour and a half later. i was hella out of it and the doctor was talking to me and fuck if i know what he said lmao. i was wheeled down to my car and i dont remember the ride home..i do remember my mom carrying me inside my house and me just falling on my bed and passing out. woke up and my face didnt really hurt. i took 2 vicadins and it was feeling better. slept most of the day. woke up this moring and my cheeks were hella swollen. its all good though..doesnt really hurt. thas about it. OH! i am mad though because all day yesterday i was craving a cheeseburger or pizza and i cant fucking eat..sOo i had soup =/ and then like 5 minutes ago my brothers walks in asking "you want anything from nations" <-- GOOD ASS BURGER PLACE!! and i was all WHY YOU GOTTA TEASE ME LIKE THAT?!!!! and hes all oh yea..you cant eat HAHAHAHA!! hater! lol. <33

Nothin new

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 03:39:50 GMT

My ass got in trouble. Long story. i cant leave my house and im dying because i need to get out. Im gonna see if i can go out for just the weekend because its hernans birthday and thats like my fuckin brother and i have to be there on his day. my mom can take the rest of my summer away, i wont give a fuck, but i just wanna be there for his birthday because i wont be able to celebrate it for another 4 years or maybe more since hes goin to the ARMY. im still being lazy and i keep forgetting to comment on people journals and updating this thing. go ahead, yell at me lol..i need it! no, but for real though, im going to try and get at all the journals and actually read each one. its gonna take time..but fuck..i got time since i cant do shit lol. i love you all <33

La La La...

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 06:14:09 GMT

i slept most the day..wOke up at twO but was woken up in between that from variOus calls lol. i woke up and watched tv and just kinda sat around all day. i fell asleep again around 4 till 6 and ate dinner, then i took a shower and talked on the phone for a good while. now im just jammin to my slOw jams on 'turn Off the lights' on wild 94.9 im sOo fuckin bored. i wanna go drive around..i dont wanna stop anywhere..i juss wanna waste gas and drive somewhere nice and look at the stars... corny, yes..but im juss in the mood to stare at the stars. anyways, thats my lil update..nothing great, sorry =x

<3 ashley

this is gonna be a LONG entry so be prepared to read lol

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 21:39:50 GMT

IM BACK FROM HAWAII!!! It was sOo fuckin fun!! I got to see my family and the new kids which was nice. kaya, whos not even 2, was like my little girl. louise, who is my cousin daniel's wife, said that I was probably the only person who kaya wanted to go to and shit. I felt special =) she was such a cutie but shes a punk like me lol. daniel said she reminded him of me cuz I was a lil punk when I was little. I picked her up from day care one day and her teacher said she got in a fight with a boy and she won ROTFLMAO. she had a fat scratch on her cheek tho, but she took it like a champion lol. I got to see my auntie gail that I havent seen since I was 4 or 5 because my aunt and uncle got a divorce. she said i turned into a beautiful young lady and she wished she could have seen me grow up. even tho my aunt and uncle are divorced, it's still the same. they both get along and shes still the fun lovig aunt she used to be. she seems happy with her new husband and my uncle is happy with his fiance, cindy. shes so nice. it was fun catchin up on everthing. on the fourth of july, everyone got drunk off of shots of tequila and margaritas. my uncle was margarita man and i was his little helper who set up the shots and cut the limes. the thing that cracked me up was my grandma, honey, who doesnt take shots..took a shot and it was hilarious. she took it down slow and i was all damnnn..lol. shes a little champion. i love her. we blew everything up and caught a dry area across the street on fire. danny was laughing and so was everyone else cuz we were all drunk, but we DID put it out. we went down to barbers point to watch the fire works, but when we got there, it was over but we did see them in the sky as we were driving. it was hella chill. everyone in the car [manny, jamie [whos pregnant & was NOT drinkin], kevin, dionne, and me] were drinkin beers and takin shots of vodka on the way there. then daniel, louise, kaya and mason[4 months old] were in the other car. we ended up goin to the old glory stage and watching mannys friends play with their band and it was fun. kevin had a cockroach crawl up his pants n he was hella drunk and he was screamin like a bitch tryna get it out lmao. it was great. we got home around 12 and blew some more fireworks up. mannys friends were chillin in front of the house juss smokin a couple blunts. theres a lot of cops, but they dont come down our block and when they do, they dont say anything. theyre hella cool. there was this one guy, Kepa, who i guess had a crush on me the first day i got there. he was tellin manny that was hella pretty and to see wassup with it. lol.. he had a nice car but i didnt really look at him cuz i was fucked up most of the time. i remember he was tryna talk to me one of the nights but i couldnt really see what he looked like cuz it was dark. he seemed nice. he was hawaiin and irish. there was another guy, josh who was hella cute, but he had a girlfriend n she had a little girl which was his. but they were all nice. monday, me, daniel, dionne, and kevin went to the beach. it was packed cuz it was the day after the fourth and there werent a lot of waves sOo me and dionne tanned while the boys surfed on the little waves. at night we went to the luao. it was fun. my uncles part of the band sOo we got in free. i was sippin on my pina coladas so i was happy lol =) the picture we took with my family an dyuko's family came out cute. [yuko's my cousin seans new wife] her family was really fun. they're japanese and they didnt really speak that much english but they were hilarious. her dad had me rollin. yuko was really pretty too. anyways, we left the luau at like 10 and went back to my uncles n drank a little. tuesday we went to the international market and shopped. most of the week we either sat around drinkin or went shopping. it was relaxing. thursday me, daniel, louise, dionne, kevin, manny, n jamie went surfing at like 9. it was hella fun. i got up a couple times n the waves brought me in. danny said i was a natural lol. i didnt think i would get up at all, but when i stood up and actually stayed up, it motivated me to ride more waves. i got mad tho cuz my new belly button ring that was hella cute fell off..it dangled and i guess while i was lyin down and paddling, it broke and fell off. oh well. i got hella burnt and couldnt walk for like 2 days. im still red but its my fault cuz after the beach i jumped in the pool and sat there tannin until it was time to eat, so i was in the sun from like 9-5 lmao. its turning into a tan, so i it was worth it. yukos family came over to my uncles and we cooked dinner for them n since my family is big on music, we broght out the guitars and everything and started singin n dancin n the neighbors came over and stuff. the neighborhood is hella chill. they basically party every night cuz its a laid back place. friday me and my parents went on a helicopter ride and saw all the islands of hawaii. it was beautiful. i dont think ill ever forget it. i wanted to see a waterfall while i was in hawaii n i saw two..they were fuckin gorgeous. i love waterfalls. then we went out to dinner and then i had to pack cuz we were leavin at 11 to catch our flight at 1 on saturday to go back home.

oh ya..the wedding was fun. they had the ceremony at some mansion in waikeke and i swear to god..it was fuckin huge. it was like a real world house only 10x bigger and fancier. it was right on the water and ive never seen anything sOo beautiful before. i didnt take any pictures on my digital but i know my mom did on her regular camera..sOo when i have those developed, ill scan them n post them. it was worth AT LEAST 10-15 million. it was to die for..i swear. i would have no problem living there lmao. then we went to this hotel after and had the reception there. it was nice, the food was fuckin munchin. we had an after party at my uncles n just drank ourselves stupid lol. i had a good time and in a way i didnt wanna leave but at the same time, i wanted to come home.

jamie, who is my cousin manny's wife, was a trip. she fit into our family perfectly. it was the first time i met her and she was just hella nice. shes loud and knows how to have fun. shes pregnant too and should be havin a little girl any day now. louise, daniels wife, is beautiful. ive met her like twice but it was just like a hello..you know?! but i got to talk to her n shes hella nice. she has two kids, kaya and mason. theyre both lil cuties. yuko, seans *NEW* wife, is cool. shes a little shy but soon enough, shes gonna have to loosen up cuz our family is loud and crazy and especially sean..she has to be a little bit crazy to be with him lol. all those boys are crazy but theyre all good guys. i got to get closer with all my cousins and spend time with them cuz we hardly see each other. they need to come out to cali sOo they can party lol. if only my WHOLE family..like all my cousins n shyt came out, it would have been more fun. when our family gets together..its noting but havoc lol. especially when you have all the adults and kids takin shots =) anyways, its good to be back and im happy to be sleepin in my own bed. i cant wait to go back tho. i already miss the sun and all the people.

****ill try and post some pictures up soon****

bye for now..ill try and comment on everyones journals cuz i know ill be bored at home with nothing to do so ill have time to read everything <33

ALOHA!!!!

Im gettin ready to go to hawaii

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 04:57:29 GMT

I leave at 9 am Wednesday for a week. Hopefully I get a fuckin tan on my white ass lol. I need to go shoppin for little things like makeup n tanning oil lol. I need to get my nails done tOo.

I guess sometime this week or next week, Hernans leavin for the army =/ Hes not just my smokin buddy, but a fuckin brother. Im gonna miss him.

Thats kinda all that I wanna write right now..theres a lot on my mind but nothing that I wanna write in detail. hopefully everyones doin ok.....<3

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 04:33:38 GMT

if only you knew what i was thinking and felt how i feel...i did say if only..

it's already taking affect..this is your answer.